For Mariah

Four years since we lost you…how can that be?
In some ways it seems like yesterday, and in others time has stretched endlessly.
I still think of you every minute of every day. I still miss you more than words can say.
I know you are in a beautiful place. But you should be here...with us…Mariah Nevaeh Case.
We had things to do…and places to see. You had a bright future before you…wild and free.
Your sister and you are a team. You were made that way.
I hope she still feels close to you. For that I pray…
Your mommy can’t live without you. She’s slowly killing herself.
I’ve picked up the pieces and keep my pain on a shelf.
But it escapes from time to time...as big and crippling as it was back then.
That day 4 years ago…March 20th, 2010.
The day that split my life in two. The day that changed everything I thought I knew.
I’m not the same person I was before. 
My focus has shifted. My faith rocked to it’s core.
My perspective has changed. Nothing can ever be worse than losing you.
After the worst has happened, what else can they do?
I know you want me to remember you with a smile until we can be together again.
I succeed most of the time, precious angel. I have so much to live for until then.
I can’t bring myself to say “happy angelversary”, sweetie.
Just know that we love you and miss you like crazy.