Never, Ever Done Alone

As I sit here on this early morning, my mind and soul turn to those that are no longer walking this earth with me. Their faces and the part of my heart that they held are clear and kind of "pinchy." There is no longer the pain of my loss of them in my life so much as there is a gratitude for the place they held. Each person that has wandered into my path--by birth, happenstance or fate--has been a gift.

I see the face of my father, James. Funny thing about parents, they stop in our memory of them at a certain age. I so clearly see my father in the height of his strength and verve for life. He had wisdom and joy, energy and laughter, and a quiet love of life that simply said, "Yes, this man is centered and happy in who he is. His spirit walks hand in hand with him." My father graced my life with certain love, common sense and laughter. I hear his voice so often when I am looking for an answer. "Sit down and make a list, Robbie. Write it down and look at it. The answer will come."

Then there is my sister Laurie, my "almost twin," who popped into this world 18 months ahead of me. She had a delight and goofiness that sparked and shimmered around her like electricity at times. The little-girl companion of my childhood, Laurie raced ahead of me always teasing me to catch up. And then when the darkening years of her teenage -hood called her, she demanded that I stay behind and let her fly alone. She did fly. Often her days were joy-shot, but in the end her candle went out in a darkening of a soul not quite meant for this world.

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