We haven't even come close to understanding the "whys" of the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy, and now we are confronted with the horrific happenings of the bombings at the Boston Marathon yesterday...this time taking another child's life - an 8-year-old boy - an innocent bystander who was cheering on the runners as they neared the finish line of the marathon. I saw a picture of this boy, Martin Richard, taken last year holding a sign that he had made that said "No more hurting people - Peace". My heart breaks and I know that yours does as well. His mother has a serious brain injury and his sister, who is a first-grader, lost a leg and now possibly the other leg cannot be saved - she was an Irish step dancer. The devastation that has come to this family is beyond imaginable. I listened to the grandmother of another victim, a 29-year-old spectator, as she talked about the life of her granddaughter, and the numbness and sorrow came through loud and clear as she spoke of the fact that her granddaughter was always so good to her and her family and friends. So sad…
I wish I could say that this was the last of these kinds of heinous acts, but as the realists we have become because of our own tragedies, we are well aware that this was not the first and will not be the last. I think of that as each new bereaved family member comes through our meeting room doors - the same look of shock on their faces and hollowness of their eyes; I always wish each new member was the last one who needed the support and care that we offer through TCF, but history tells me otherwise, and I am thankful that we are there to help them on the difficult journey that they now will travel.
With each such public tragedy, it makes me thankful all over again that there are groups like The Compassionate Friends to show them understanding, compassion, and, as time goes on, the reminder that there is hope. Early in the journey one can scarcely believe that is even possible, but those of us in our chapters can be the beacon of hope that life after the unspeakable can, in time, become meaningful again, albeit in a much different way.
As I mentioned before after the tragedy in Connecticut last year, the constant noise of the media and the 24-hour news stations on cable, might be something that you want to turn away from. We know what happened, but we don't need to have the constant drone of this horrendous event. When something like this happens in our world, oftentimes it can bring us right back to our own personal tragedy, and bring up all the pain and despair - like a videotape on constant rewind. This is one area where we do have a choice - we can turn off the TV or change the station from the news; we can turn the radio to another channel. We can self-soothe ourselves with peaceful music or quiet; long walks and if you are an exerciser or runner, that too to rev up the endorphins to lift your hearts -. anything that will give your mind and your eyes a different picture. In other words, take care of you - be especially gentle with your fragile selves. You have had more trauma than anyone needs in a lifetime. Only you know where that nook of comfort is for yourself and take full advantage of all the ways you can find that escape route to a quieter, gentler place.
I like the two posts that I found on Facebook - especially the one that Mr. Rogers said, which I think is good for all of us, but especially something to remind your children if/when they learn about the bombing: "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother wold say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." - Fred Rogers. “Remember the helpers”...I like that so much.
Sending you comfort, caring and gentle thoughts,
Cathy Seehuetter, Nina's mom & Chris's step-mom
Comments