Your Experience Of Grief

CURRENT STATE

Grief is a sensitive issue and an issue we all face. These are my experences and the truth of my journey and studies in this area. My words are simply signposts for you to guide you back into your own truth.

I define grief as the emotional suffering caused from the loss of someone or something significant in your life. The more intense the suffering the more emotionally attached we usually were to that person.

What I noticed is grief is a uniquely individual experience. We all have different experiences, however, there are some common themes that I believe do not change.

If you ignore grief and the pain it causes it will not just go away and disappear. In fact, what can happen is it resurfaces in another aspect or area of your life months or even years down the line. Crying is not the only form of expressing grief. I had many days I would just be hurting so badly inside that I couldn’t even express it.

With millions of us facing grief every year it was so scary to find out how lonely the journey is and how disconnected people are on this sub- ject. Here is a little test. Think of one famous singer? Okay how long did that take?

Now think of a famous grief specialist? I guess you didn’t come up with one that quickly right?

Why? Because we hide things in society we find difficult to face. Yet behind closed doors we are suffering and we all struggle with it at some point. Grief isn’t on our main TV networks, magazines or radios.

You may have even heard these words before, “You have to move on” or “You have to move forward.” How hurtful these words can be but people simply know no better. When we sweep death and grief under the carpet that’s what happens.

Western Society has become more about me and less about us.

In my  book I wanted to reveal the power of serving and giving that is within us all and how so many people had transformed their lives from grief. 

Society is much more focused on keeping up appearances, pretending everything is fine when inside it’s not. Think about how many times someone says, “Hello, how are you?” Your automatic response is, “I’m fine, and you?” This answer becomes a barrier to what is really happen- ing. It becomes a block to the real feelings going on inside but for some reason we feel it best to keep it to ourselves. When Mum died I’d say those words and just keep going. I felt like I didn’t want to burden anyone with my problem and other times I didn’t think anyone would understand what I was going through.

When you experience a loss the grief is painful and raw. Tip From Tom:
HUG.

A simple hug has the power to transcend words and communicate love. I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman or whether you worry if others think it is cool or not. We all need a hug. If you don’t know what to say to someone who is in grief then give them a hug. You always have the ability to share that. It is free and the biggest gift you can give someone, aside from your time and love.