Surviving Sibling and New Traditions

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J A DIller April 28, 2015 - 8:40pm

“Being a parent isn’t an easy job – not just because it’s a 24/7, lifelong commitment, but also because we cannot bear to see our children hurt,” what’s even worst is saying goodbye to your child. I did so with my son Charlie, 23, to pneumonia in 2009.

 

Parents want two things for their children: for them to reach their highest potential and to be able to live a full, happy life without suffering much harm, but how do you tell your surviving child everything will be alright following their sibling’s death.

 

I took my youngest son BJ aside, looked him into his eyes and said, “Charlie is not gone, he will always be a part of our family. We must together find our new normal, but one thing to remember I am here for you and I always will be. Charlie lives in our hearts, walks with us through life, sometimes life isn’t fair but we must journey on no matter how hard it seems it’s want he would want for us.”

 

Every day there is a missing part of us especially when Charlie’s birthday approaches, I still wish him a Happy Birthday! I drive out to the cemetery to give him a present, a statue on his stone. We have changed many things in life one being how we celebrate Christmas, we have new traditions. Traditions in anything is great, it’s about making new memories but keeping the old in your heart.

 

My Grandma Bushur gave me some great advice when I was a small child, “Judy, always find a positive out of any negative.”

 

One must keep in mind that our loved ones remain around us

“They may not be walking and talking, but they are still with you.”

And if you watch closely you may see a sign, even hear their voice.

 

During my radio interviews about my book Beyond Life, the interviewer could ask me these questions:

·         How do people react when you tell them about your communication with Charlie?

·         Does anyone else communicate or feel Charlie’s presence?

·         How soon after his death did you first feel his presence?

·         Do you think Charlie feels somehow tethered to our realm since he passed away so young?

·         Does he feel he still has things to do here?

 

I found these questions interesting since I do believe in the paranormal.

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author
Author J. A. Diller writes with a purpose. She hopes to provide inspiration and a sense of hope through engaging works of fiction. The focus of her work is to deliver the message that with family, faith and courage, nothing is impossible. While her work is considered fiction, it flows from personal experience. Judy lost her son Charlie at the age of 23. While a life event of this magnitude can and does wreck lives, Diller took another path. The event served as a catalyst that served to allow her to bring messages of hope to others in need. Judy has never believed that death is the end. “As I was writing the book, I started to feel at peace within myself,” stated Judy. “I would hear Charlie telling me in my mind what he went through with school bullying, depression, struggle with self image – I could write for hours not ever glancing at the clock. Charlie’s character in ‘Beyond Life’ is Feshy, the hero who stands his ground against all odds, and tries to rebuild his family elders’ relationships.” Issues like bullying, depression and self image are heavy topics for young minds. Judy’s treatment of these subjects leads children and parents gently to a singular and SDFSDF conclusion. Regardless of any challenge we must face, our family will always be with us, our faith will always sustain us and, given just a bit of courage, nothing is impossible.
I'm Grieving, Now What?

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