Some Days Are Better Than Others

Throughout the grieving process, some days are going to be better than others. Some days the pain of grief hits us like a ton of bricks, and for no apparent reason. There's no warning sign, no rhyme or reason for the pain, it just is. These seemingly "random" days of sorrow can be even harder than the ones you can predict like birthdays or anniversaries. At least with those days you can predict the sadness and respond accordingly. So what do you do when you're blindsided by a particularly tough day? Here are 4 ways to cope when grief shows up, unannounced.

1. Call a Time Out 
The thing about the random sad days is that you never know when they're going to hit. You could have an important meeting that day, or maybe you're just home with the kids. For whatever reason, you're extra sad today and missing your loved one even more than usual. Wherever you are, try to take a break from what you're doing. Put a movie on for the kids or grab a cup of coffee before that meeting to just be alone with your thoughts.

2. Talk to Someone 
Sometimes the best way to get through a particularly sad day is to just talk to someone about it. If you're seeing a therapist, see if he or she can pencil you in that day. Call up a friend and try to set up lunch plans. Chances are, something sparked your sadness that day, and talking about your grief could help you figure out what it was. Plus, you'll feel so much better after getting it all out with someone you trust.

3. Let Yourself Be Sad 
If you're having a rough day and you can allow yourself to spend it grieving, then let yourself be sad. Go through your photo albums and memory boxes. Bring flowers or a candle to your loved one's memorial. Don't try to toughen up or ignore the sadness if what you really want is a chance to cry and mourn your loss.

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