Tell Me: What can I do?

I must admit, I'm not certain that I have the credentials to make this submission.  I have not experienced the impact of death that so many live with each day.  I've been a compassionate bystander as close friends and co-workers have found themselves thrust into their own circumstances.  As a former Marine Corps Sergeant I served as part of a special duty team that provided full honors for fallen and former Marines as part of their military funeral services.   

My point, I've seen grief but I am blessed to have never had to cope personally.

Today, I no longer wish to stand on the side lines.  I feel as if many times I've allowed those moments when I should remind someone in my life that I feel deeply for them and their family, just pass me by.  You should know, as I'm sure you do, it is easier for us to say nothing.  We fear the delicate nature of your experience, and somehow many of us are struck with the idea that you can be healed.  I'm sorry, for that.  

As my exposure to the grief world expands, I now understand that the concept of healed is entirely inappropriate.  Forgive my ignorance, but please hear my request, and I encourage you to post a response.

Guide us… 

Would you be so kind to share tips for us bystanders.  How should we help remember your loved one?  How do we let you know that even if we never met your special someone, we know you, and we do love you, and care for you, and want to honor you and your memories? 

I believe we are a team, and as team mates we help each other.   Humbly, I ask you to help us.