Before I Lost my Hair: A Reflection of Psalm 90

Rachel Lopez Rosenberg reflects on losing her hair due to cancer treatments in this spoken poem. This heart wrenching animation is an interpretation of Psalm 90.

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Psalms Lyrics

Before I lost my hair, before needles and catheters
we walked the dog each morning, our legs stretched
towards the breaking sun. New light catching
faithful hands, gold wedding rings, future promises.

But now You have turned my marrow,
this body barely a shelter.

The hallways are empty. We feel your subtle darkness.

Tell me you watch me as I lie among IV lines and beeping infusion machines
You have given so many gifts and yet all of this waiting --
the next test, another morsel of news.

What are you doing, Elusive One, while I wait for new cells to grow?

I thought I would have more time
So many like to say this too shall pass
but it is this life that passes before us like an afternoon shadow

Thinking of those mornings,
the coffee dripping in the pot, my eyes smart.
When they open again my life will be over

How long before I am all dried up?
Every day a miracle. Every night a question.
Will You wake me in the morning?

Is this how you teach me to number my days?

Knower of secrets, return me to myself.
These hands, this ring -- they want to honor Your name.