This Crooked Road

Every day, when I pull up my Facebook, I see so many posts from people who have lost a loved one. It matters not if it has been a day or years, the pain is real. I feel your pain because of my own loss. We realize that ones who have lost no one will not understand why we are still in pain. Yet on this crooked road, we meet many who get us. And even as we wished they did not travel this road, we are grateful for them as they are grateful for us.

This road will never be straight and true for it has changed along with us. It has become our sorrow and our savior. Not all the turns are bad ones or good ones, they vary as we walk along. One day you may turn a corner and realize quite suddenly that the pain is less, not gone, never gone, but a little less. That is you, learning to live with the sorrow. Don't fall back in fear that you are forgetting them for you are not. You are just learning to adjust to the pain.

There will be days that the road bends back on itself and the pain becomes all brand new and like it happened yesterday, just breath through it, the next bend in the road is coming up. Days like that will happen less often but remember, they will happen, it's okay to cry, take this day for yourself. Block people out if it helps, do whatever it takes to help yourself at these times. Be selfish with your heart, you have that right.

Our greatest sorrow is the loss of our child. It does not matter at what age we lost them, they are a part of our flesh, our blood, our pride and joy, our sorrow. This is not to say that the loss of someone is not greater to everyone. All loss is great. The loss of a mate is the loss of a million memories, whispered love, moments of joy. They are a part of our DNA. I have friends who loss someone from every walk of life, ones who were so close to their hearts, let no one tell you that your loss will go away, ignore the words of those who don't know when they tell you the platitudes of sorrow. It's up to you how you travel this crooked road, for it is your heart that is involved. I wish you all better days, less pain and someone who understands where you are on the road. Remember to breathe and turn the corner. All my Love... "Forever Mom."

About the Author

 My son, Tim, passed on January 5th 2014 at the age of 34. He chose to end his life. So many things happened to bring him to that point. Believe it or not, I understand why. No matter how our child died, that is the keyword 'our child.' I wish you all gentle days and nights as you walk your path. Barbara, 'Forever Mom.'

I'm Grieving, Now What?