I miss me too

"It's good to see you smile again!" she said,

"I knew that after some time,  you would get over her."

she was standing a little too close and my smile disappeared

that and the look on my face made her aware of her error.

"I didn't mean it that way!" she started,

"It's just that it's been over two years, and we miss you."

she smiled sweetly,

as if her smile would mask the ignorance.

Look,

I know It's not her fault,

those who've never lost a spouse...

have no frame of reference.

and thinking they should say something

leaves them at a loss

We've heard them all anyway,

some of the remarks are thoughtless and cutting,

but I suspect at least some of the problem is ours

we're hyper sensitive now

and always looking inward

after having been injured to the core

I can only speak for me, 

but I found anger to be a diversion from the pain

and did so for months

but today I thought to let her off the hook

"It's OK"

I said, "I'm just a little slow today."

she was a very good friend to my wife after all.

I just wish she didn't smell so good.

the confusion of so many thoughts and emotions

all happening at once

still surprise me

it didn't used to be this way

but she's right

I miss me too

 

About the Author
I was born in 1957 as one of 6 kids. It was a great childhood, we were a close family and those of us who remain still are. I met the love of my life in 1975, she was my first girlfriend and my last. we were married in 1977 and remained happily so until her sudden death in 2014. I've always written to her, and she to me. Even after her loss I still write for her even though I don't know if she sees
I'm Grieving, Now What?