"Eat, Pray, Love," Choosing Happiness Over Suffering, and Life Coaching

Do you remember when Julia Roberts, as the character Elizabeth Gilbert in the book/film “Eat, Pray, Love” said “I’m choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I’m making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises?”  If you have seen the film, or read the book by Gilbert, you will recall that when her character choose happiness over suffering to make space for her unknown future, one yet-to-come surprise was the love of her life, Felipe (played by Javier Bardem).  Another gift that she opened to was a feeling of inner peace and spiritual connectedness through meditation practice at the Ashram in India and with her traditional healer in Bali.

As a cultural anthropologist and global traveler I deeply value and treasure the rich, cross-cultural perspectives and world views portrayed in this film. For this reason I highly recommend any travel experience.  Yet you don’t need to embark on a journey around the world to experience the self-discovery portrayed in “Eat, Pray, Love.”  However, like the Julia Roberts character, you do need to consciously choose happiness over suffering.

We can become deeply mired in our suffering after loss. This doesn’t mean that we need to repress or bury our feelings of grief–quite the opposite.  We need to release our tears and grief over our loss for as long as it takes to grieve our loved one (there is no timetable as grief varies individually).  However, while the pain of grief is inevitable, they way we view it is optional.  Suffering is not inevitable, deserved, or required, it is a choice.

Coaches help their clients break through their limiting beliefs about suffering that suggest otherwise.  They teach their clients to interrupt negative self-talk, and look for the ways things might be more positive. Negative thoughts produce neuropeptides, chemicals that makes you feel, for example, unworthy, hateful, or angry.  On the other hand, positive thoughts produce dopamine, a chemical that makes you feel, for example, joyful, inspired, or uplifted.  Brain chemistry changes in response to every thought.  This is called plasticity.  So it becomes a cycle–you begin to think the way you are feeling and feel the way you are thinking.  A way to change the cycle is to replace negative thoughts and words for positive thoughts and words.

Life coaching promotes a move toward happiness and away from from suffering by using coaching techniques that expose and remove fears and blocks to your recovery; that are characterized by deep, nonjudgmental listening and sensitivity to the heartache of your loss, and inspiration, intuition, humor, gratitude, and wisdom to guide you forward (qualities embodied by Balinese traditional healer Ketut Liyer  in the film).  Coaching includes [optional] instruction in simple centering or meditation practices.  It will help you find meaning and purpose in your loss; design an inner and outer “new me” vision that is exciting, purposeful, and fulfilling; and help you plan for the transition into a full, satisfying, and happy life.

At the beginning of the “Eat, Pray, Love” film,  Julia Roberts as Elizabeth Gilbert was suffering after her marriage failed.  Everyone experiences the heartache and pain of loss and grief. It is a normal reaction. Loss and grief are universal life-long human experiences that occur in response to events such as the death of a loved one or dear pet, miscarriage,  divorce, relationship breakup, empty nest syndrome, catastrophic illness, caregivers burnout and anticipatory grief, and career loss.  At the end of the film the character Elizabeth Gilbert has found happiness, inner peace, and the love of her life.

Are you happy?  If not, are you ready to choose happiness over the suffering that is keeping you from a life of  joy, peace, and purpose?  Make space for the “unknown future to fill up your life with yet-to-come surprises” and take a journey into life coaching.