Tears By Tomar Jackson

Tom Zart said that

Tears are the raindrops of the soul 
And there's one for all who die. 
They are the silent words of grief

As they fall free from the eye. 

The shortest verse in the Bible 
Is the one where Jesus wept
So, if you hold back tears, "shed them" 
When your pain is too harsh to accept.

Webster dictionary says that tears

clean and lubricate the eyes.

I have noticed that tears cleanse

the soul from pain, anguish, and are

the medium which grants us safe

passage from the unbearable

to our new reality.

My brother's suicide smashed the levees

of my heart.

With that one shot my world

tore apart.

The tears poured from my eyes like

the waterfalls of Niagara.  How can

this be, I prayed, I cried, I prayed

the word of God to ensure my prayer was

on point, then I laid back and rested

in the knowledge that “Jesus will

work it out” just as he always has.”

as the minutes go into hours and

the police were notified, the situation

is elevated, everyone is panicking

but I am resting in the fact that “He

may not come when I want him, but he

will be there right on time”.

My God is always on time, always right,

never granting my every whim, but

supplying all of my needs according

to his riches and glory through Christ

Jesus.  But this I do not understand,

where is the silver lining, where is

the justice, where is the happy ending.

At the wake I stand over my brother's body,

clinging to hope that something great is

going to happen....

At the funeral I continue to keep faith,

I am holding on by the nubs of my

fingernails. I am losing my grip but

I still believe that God can do any-

thing.

Then they lower my brother's body

into the earth, my heart breaks, and my

knees weaken; as the coffin hits ground,

I fall to my knees clinging to a glimmer

of hope that it’s not too late and that

something great can still happen.

I put forth my best effort to run from

my tears, because I reject this reality.

I am forced to reluctantly surrender my

tears like a captor forced to release

hostages.

I am like a Katrina victim, standing on

the roof top of my emotions with

no other place to go but under.

Left to drown; my lifeless corpse

floating listlessly in the crystal clear

ocean of my tears.

My broken heart, finally purged of this

agonizing pain, and my spirit is

finally at peace.

January 2012