The Journey part 3

The day my husband told me he was ready to go sent my mind to days gone by. I remember how I felt as we took our vows and danced at our reception. Bob could not dance so we went in circles, but I did not care I was in his arms and looking forward to a life with my husband.



We had ups and downs through the years and enjoyed our boys. Bob always had a project for us to work on, so he kept us busy. I will never forget the time Bobby and I were in the attic putting in insulation, Bob had cut a small entry into the attic and was passing insulation through to us. I was busy stapling the insulation in when I saw the BIGGEST SPIDER i had ever seen in my life. What made it worse is it raised up on its back legs, i am sure my screams could be heard outside as i ran across the floor joists diving through the small opening landing in the floor in the room. Bob was laughing so hard he could not talk. At the time i could not see the humor in it all and gave my husband a dirty look and some choice words when he suggested i needed to "GET BACK IN THERE AN FINISH THE JOB" I informed him NOTHING could persuade me to go back in there! Now I smile when I think of that moment as well as all the other moments in time. I went back to many of those pleasant memories as I journeyed with my husband in his last days.



The next night after my husband had let me know he was ready was heartbreaking to my boys and I. Bob tried to rip his G-tube out. I was screaming for my sons as Bob even in his weakened state was too strong for me to hold. I screamed and the boys came running. They held there dads arms as i sedated Bob, tears streaming down our faces as we told him that would not cause him to die sooner. Bob some how managed to scream over an over "IME DYING". Once the drugs took affect Bobby went in the bathroom and threw up and John collapsed on the Bed in tears. These are memories that will stay with us forever and ones I wish i could take from my sons.



Now Bob has to be sedated heavily all the time, we spend many hours by his side John reading out of the Bible to his dad and Bobby talking about the things they had done together. Alex and Nina talking about his granddaughters and special memories they shared(So a side note here. When children loose a father or mother realize that who they were has changed as purity of life has been ripped from them)



Memories good and bad form us, affecting us in ways we may not be aware of. Oh sweet Jesus how these moments have changed us.