Dazed

I've tried so hard,
I'm trying still,
But the fog in my head
Makes it hard to do
Even the simplest of things.

I get confused,
I get lost,
How do I make them understand
That a part of me is gone
And it was that part that kept me strong?

Eighteen months
You've been gone.
How do I explain
That this heartache
I feel is still going strong?

I put on my mask
Every morning
And try to pretend
I am healing, when in fact
The pain is still raw and fresh.

Like a bandaid,
I cover my wound
With a smile and a laugh.
Can't anyone see
This is a terminal illness?

Look in my eyes,
I'm begging you!
See the real facts.
Don't allow me to hide
From your question, "How are you?"

Hold me,
Let me grieve.
For one day, know this,
It will be you
Who is asking this of me.