Final Destination -Arrival Time Unknown

Ste today I had to get the train to London. I couldn't help but compare my journey of grief with my journey on that train. 

I sat on the train among strangers. As soon as people get on the train they become lifeless.I feel unconscious without you -I feel my soul has been ripped from my being as if all hope is gone. 

No one shows any emotion they all avoid eye contact and sit silently reading or playing on phones .I can no longer show emotion -I have cried too many tears, the pain is too much to bear, I can't relate to others and no one understands my emotion. 

People distract themselves from the reality of the journey they are on, just killing time until they reach their final destination. I try to distract myself from grief but its like trying to put a bandage on a break that's not healing.Time feels endless to me tick tock when will this stop.

The train starts off slow then flows fast, up and down the tracks rocking in relief as it goes.My grief starts as a low ebb in my core and seeps through my veins increasing in intensity as the seconds continue-I can find no comfort as I go.

The train windows are like eyes to the world- scenery, towns and sky swirl past -all creating photos from the past in an instant. Droplets of rain drip down the outsides of the windows like tears on a face .My memories of you are becoming blurred however hard I try to behold them. I can no longer focus, my mind is numb. My tears continue, every tear holds the intense sum of my heartbreak I feel for your loss.

The automated voice announces the next station and the train stops. People come and go. The only noise I hear is the beeping of the doors as they open and shut. As I continue my life without you I hear voices vibrating in my ears but I can't hear the relevance. I can only hear the beeping in my head constantly saying he's gone I miss him and I want to be with him again.

My train journey ended when the train terminated at Euston. People piled off the train as if pasted together and were pulled towards the exit by a unified will of power.

My journey of grief will end when we are reunited but my arrival time is unknown.

One day my life will too be terminated and I will be pulled by the power of the light towards you God willing. Until then I will await my final destination.

For Ste GBNF x