What grief has taught me

What Grief has taught me

1) It's like an ocean, someday a it's calm, other days, the waves will hit you with full force.
2) It's possible to ask why a million times a day but never get an answer.
3) Watching your parents grieve their child is probably the worst thing anyone can ever witness.
4) It feels like the world has ended at first, you'll be mad at people for getting on with their lives but you too, eventually will carry on as normal.
5) It's possible to feel pain in parts of you that you didn't think you ever would. The initial pain is smack bang in the middle of your heart and is literally your heart breaking, but that pain fades eventually.
6) Talking is the best therapy for grief. Talk about your loved one, share the memories, surround yourself with them. Honour them, love them. Remember them.
7) It's okay to cry, but it's also okay not to cry. Every day is different, follow your instincts, don't let anyone tell you how to grieve.
8) No matter how sad and difficult one day is, the next day will always feel better.
9) Its okay to cry yourself to sleep.
10) You can't hide from grief. It will always find you. You have to experience it.
11) You learn who your real friends are and you'll probably be surprised to find they're not who you expected. People you've not spoken to for years will be more supportive than newer friends.
12) You'll wonder how people can carry on with their lives whilst yours is crushed. Then you'll realise how unreasonable you're being.
13) Don't cover grief up by drinking, or taking drugs etc because grief will always catch you.
14) Don't go back to work too soon, you'll do more damage than good. Wait until you're fully ready.
15) Focusing on moving forwards and honouring your loved one's memory is a great use of resources.
16) You'll always feel sad, you'll always miss them but it'll be ok eventually.
17) Birthdays and special dates will pass no matter how much you dress them and you'll be fine.
18) Guilt is horrendous and you need to experience it but let it pass as quickly as possible
19) Small things like other people's birthdays, when you feel your lost one's absence can feel like a set back but really, it's part of your grieving journey.
20) It's okay to not go to the cemetery every week, go when you feel you can. If you don't want to, then don't go. Do what's right for you and no one else.