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Night time is my nightly nightmare, It's the time I miss you the most

I go outside and gaze with eyes wide open at the shaded sky and melancholy moon

I panicked when I first realized I don’t have your voice recorded anywhere: no voicemail, no video clip with sound.  A few seconds only of a soundless video clip when I was testing my new camera is the only "live" evidence left...I am so afraid I will forget the sound of your voice.

SAYING GOODBYE

Even if you hold their hand,
While they take their final breath..,
It doesn't ease the pain at all,
Can't keep tears from being wept

Even if you kiss their cheek..
And get to say goodbye,

Time. It seems inevitable that any discussion of grief and grieving comes back to time. “How long am I gonna feel like I want to run away?” “When do I start to feel better?” “Don’t you think you’ve grieved long enough?” “Time heals all wounds.” “It gets better.” “How long until I see them again?”

What a hell of a ride it has been. I look back over the last 22 months and I am in awe at how far I've come, yet how stagnant I've become. I feel I need to speak directly to those struggling parents out there or to those that are trying to love and be there for those struggling. It's one hell of a torturous road.

Ste

Some days I get so tired of hearing how strong I am. I don't feel very strong...I feel lost some days, like I'm in a fog and can't find my way out. I don't feel strong when my emotions are all over the place....when the tears come and my heart feels like it's breaking in pieces....