I was just sitting here, staring out the window.
Angels with White Wings came down and said we have to go.
I thought I was dying and became very, very afraid.
When they took my hands in theirs, I prayed and prayed and prayed.
They told me not to be scared, they had to show me something.
Dear Casey – Today I flipped the page on your angel-versary calendar from one to two. People say it gets better with time. It doesn’t. This year was harder than last because I feel you slipping that much further away. I feel like all I can do is lie in bed and stare at the wall. I move very slowly. I have to work harder to cement your memory into my brain.
Egocentric Grief
On several occasions in the almost eleven years since my daughter Jeannine’s death, I have attended calling hours for several friends whose loved ones have died. If the deceased is not a child, I will sometimes get comments like, “I know it is not the same (death of a child), but I feel so horrible (about my loss).”
This one is a tough one because it hits very close to home for me. My wife and I also had to say goodbye to both of our children. There is always the “what if’s” or the questioning that goes into an impossible situation like this. The following was sent to me by a fellow grieving dad, Brandon Tucky, who was kind enough to share his story so ot
We are all affected when we lose someone close to us and I would like to try and take the sting out of the tail of death, with a view to help anyone that has to deal with death now or in the future. Death is always seen as a negative, and I can understand that, after all it involves people dying.
What can someone do to really make a difference as you begin to heal through grief? You probably have plenty of food, volumes of cards and flowers, but what kind of gift would genuinely touch your heart? The gift of memories.
SUFFERING proves to be an overwhelming maze of not only pain, but also of inescapability. The worst of thoughts is that the pain and inescapability could both prove to be fatal, not least of the spirit, as the soul seems to die by the day. Of course, these are thoughts very reminiscent of hopelessness, of loss of vision, of desperation, and aberrant lostness.
Nights bellowing into a pillow, even if they were fleeting departures into madness, or that's what we thought, with thoughts of madness attending, we might wonder what kept us safe through the night. Morning came and sometimes we were sullen. Other times there was a sweet victorious emptiness. Also, joy at times - the strangest peace.
Since you left,
I feel so alone;
It's hard to think.
I'm so numb and dazed;
It always seems to be
One of those days.
