I imagine before my son died 4 years ago I would have watched the promos for the new ABC television series RESURRECTION and I would have been excited to see a show that obviously explores a scenario loaded with the potential for tremendous dramatic exploration. But being on the opposite side of losing a child, the advertisements have done nothing but filled me with unease and anguish.
I think losing a child, in the manner we did; planning his death,
may have been more traumatic for my psyche -
For a mother.
I can't resolve much.
Or see life going forward willingly.
It just does go on;
Without my permission.
So, I have no control;
I gave birth to an angel, too beautiful for Earth. The tought that keeps me going is you will never expeirence hurt. We named you Abigayle and the meaning must be true, it means the joy of her fayher
I clearly understand that everyone grieves differently and that there is no “silver bullet.” My purpose is not to tell anyone how to grieve, as that would be disrespectful, but rather to share things that have helped me along the way. My hope is that my thoughts might help others in some small way.
There is an image I have in mind named War of Emotions. It was painted by three people - one adult, one teen, and one child. It depicts what many of us know to be true about life. Life is very often a war of the emotions, where spot fires of turmoil subsist within isolated areas of our personhood in the otherwise tranquil ground of a good life.
During my first year of widowhood, most of my friends had no idea what I was going through but they had more common sense than I did. I did know I was crazy for awhile.
When a loved one is dying it invites us to reflect on the gift and fragility of life. How do we live fully while we are alive? What can we learn from the process of watching a loved one transition out of life? The importance of emotional support and connection to ease the aloneness of the dying process is emphasized.
