Recent Articles

I was talking to a fellow survivor of suicide loss the other day about the intense anger we both felt after our loved ones died (her husband killed himself many years ago), and I was reminded of how raw my rage was -- at my father, at his doctors, at the hospital staff where he died, sometimes at everyone and everything.

Defining My Boundaries

"Many couples divorce after losing a child," offered one well-meaning friend after another in the months following Aly's accident. I can't help but wonder why people feel compelled to share this with newly grieving parents. Meant to be comforting, it is anything but. Yet hear it, we do. And repeatedly.

She had broken wings.
I do not know how they first got broke.
The wings of a sweet little angel.
I met earlier than expected.
She tried to fly on her own but could not.
She needed help.
Love could not mend her.
My love did not break through.
It took a stronger love to rescue her.
From herself.

My 21 year old son, Christopher Robin Hotchkiss, was shot four times with a handgun on March 21, 1996, by his school roommate, Mark James Taylor, because Christopher put dishes in the wrong cabinet. 

I would like to take some time and over a few articles talk to parents who have lost a child but have other living children and talk a little about the sibling survivor experience to give you and idea of what they are going through.

Listening is tough - especially when the listening involves a tragedy or an emotional situation that is not fun to hear about.

In fact, listening can be a painful thing to do, especially if you're wired to be an empathetic, caring person. When someone experiences a loss, and you allow them to pour their heart out to you, it can be emotional for you as the listener too.