Mourners need two things: (1) to be able to express themselves and share their grief experience without being judged and (2) to know that they have been heard and understood. Remember that the best way that you can help mourners is to be present, listen, support and encourage them. Simply being there for grievers can help them move toward healing. Here’s some of the actions and sayings you should avoid doing for people in grief:
"What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down."
~ Mary Pickford
Are you experiencing seemingly insurmountable challenges in assuming a new role due to the death of your loved one? Have you made mistakes in developing new skills needed to fulfill that role? Do you feel you are a failure because you continue to have "bad days" and are not "being strong?" Nothing could be further from the truth. Grief has a tendency to disorganize and confuse. Yet it teaches through the mistakes we make.
What if... I had called the doctor like he asked?
"Cindy, can you call the doctor and see if he can get me in tomorrow morning before I leave for my business trip?" my husband asked. "I'm not feeling well. I'm starting to get a bad cold and cough. Maybe he can give me something before I get too sick."
I agreed I would call. It was February. We lived in sunny, warm, Florida at the time, however, his trip was to Pennsylvania and the weather would be very cold that time of year.
Every time I think of you, my heart breaks once again
Every time I think of you, another tear falls
Every time I think of you, I start missing you all over again
Every time I think of you, I think of the years that should have been
Every time I think of you, a memory of you comes to mind.
Every time I think of you, I can’t help thinking of what could have been
Every time I think of you, I have to smile because in the end love was there
Every time I think of you, I am reminded of how short life can be
When children are young many people will recommend not taking them to see fireworks. The bright lights and loud sounds can be confusing and scary. When our son Noah was a year and a half we took him to his first fireworks display. We choose a small town over the big city, carefully choose a seat in the grass that would give us an easy escape and prepared for the celebration to begin.
To grieve is inevitable, a condition of existence. Attempts at avoiding or ignoring this healing process leads eventually to increased and unnecessary suffering. Bottom line: feeling the pain, facing it day after day, allowing it to take its natural course through you, brings greater self-awareness, acceptance, and new awareness.
During the last full week of school with my first grade students I was readingThe Velveteen Rabbit which depicts the "life" of a briefly unloved stuffed rabbit who soon became a little boy's favorite toy. Upon meeting "Real" rabbits, he learned that he was not "real" and would never live like they did. Saddened he talked to the old rocking horse in the nursery who explained to him that he could INDEED become real by way of the magic the love the little boy gave him which would make him "Real". The boy became
After the sudden and tragic death of their son, Joshua’s family turned their grief into a myriad of creative endeavors. Josh’s father Jimmy created a film for those recently bereaved and a book of photographs, writings, and poetry to express … Continue reading
After the loss of her son Robert in April of 2006, Autumn Ater found it a real challenge not to lose herself in her grief…it was then that God planted a seed in her heart to start a faith based ministry for mothers called “A Hole In My Heart”.
