As we age we are inevitably bereaved more often, and it is at a time of our life when we are more vulnerable. Research shows that the generation that are in their 60’s and older, are the least likely to access or receive appropriate support when someone dies, and this is particularly true of men.
"Thanks to other people, I’ll make it. If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a team of brave hearts to help someone survive the loss of a child," Marge shared.
We always talk about the regret a griever may have leading up to their loss – did I do enough, did I love enough, could I or should I have done more?
I can hardly believe that our angels have been gone for over 5 years. I still have days where the true reality of all of it still hasn't settled in. When we hit 5 years this past November 4th I felt a new kind of sadness and emptiness. Time makes things different but it does not make things easier.
"I wander. I drift. I have no purpose. Everything feels meaningless," Mark said.
"Me too. I'm just here. That's all," Melanie added.
I wrote Grief Works because I was angry. Angry that so many of the bereaved clients that came through my door, were suffering more than necessary, because they felt they should have been coping better, feared they were going mad. They had no idea this is normal in grief. And they didn’t know how to help themselves.
"Does it ever get any better? Everyone says I should be over this or further along." Annette said.
I see your tears from Heaven I see the pain you hold for me I know you wish I was still with you Just the way I used to be I hear you say that you sure miss me I've watched you scream out loud alone I know it's hard to live without me You wish that Heaven had a phone I want to show you that I'm with you Please feel me here right at your side Heaven is truly all around you My Soul, it never ever
How do we get to acceptance? Ever since four family members died in 2007, including my elder daughter, the mother of my twin grandchildren, I’ve grappled with this question. I studied grief recovery then, and continue to study it. Many grief experts see acceptance as a choice we make for ourselves.
No one wants to be sad. In fact, we spend a good part of our life in the general pursuit of happiness, doing anything we can to avoid sadness, heartache, discomfort and pain. That is, until someone we love dies.
