June Newsletter
Dear Grief Toolbox Family,
June is a month of many triggers, Father’s day, the end of school, graduations, weddings, the Fourth of July as well as the change of seasons. No matter where you are at in your grief, new or decades down the road, these triggers can sneak up sometimes coming at us from out of nowhere.
My son died in 1999 at 4 and 1/2, recently we were invited to his best friend’s high school graduation. For just a moment when I received the invitation in the mail with her senior picture on the front I was taken back in time. The tears flowed as I remembered them together over a decade ago. The sadness lasted for only a moment as my heart remembered the blessing he is in our lives and the gratitude of not being forgotten by his friend. With a mix of tears and joy I went to the graduation, as Noah’s representative, and I am glad I did.
Some keys to surviving these triggers is to:
- Anticipate them coming - no matter how long it has been they can still come
- Know you have the right not to participate if it is not right for you
- You have the right to modify traditions
- It is ok to have fun
- Have an escape plan - even though you may initially feel you want to have the event go one way you may need to change things in mid stream
- Know that despite your best efforts things may not go as planned
- Know that you are not alone - everyone who is bereaved is triggered
- Know that your grief is your grief and it is natural and normal
Please share this with everyone you may know who will benefit
Blessings and Love,
Glen and Tanya Lord
Table of Contents:
- I am still a Father the fathers day Birdhouse
- Grieving on the Fourth of July
- Helping The Grief-Stricken Prepare For Grief Triggers
- A Widow's Change of Season
- Community Artwork
01. I am still a Father the fathers day Birdhouse
Father’s Day was just around the corner; this was going to be the fifth Father’s day where I would both celebrate my father and my being a father. In the short time I had spent in this window of being both a father and a son I had learned so very much. My son had taught me that the world was so much bigger than me, he had made me a better man. Being a father had also offered me the perspective and appreciation for many of the things my father had done for me when I was little.
02. Grieving on the Fourth of July
When children are young many people will recommend not taking them to see fireworks. The bright lights and loud sounds can be confusing and scary. When our son Noah was a year and a half we took him to his first fireworks display. We choose a small town over the big city, carefully choose a seat in the grass that would give us an easy escape and prepared for the celebration to begin. When the lights dimmed I took Noah in my lap and explained that there were going to be bright lights and loud noises and to not be afraid. When the show started Noah’s eyes got huge and I thought this is when the fear will set in…instead he jumped from my lap and began to laugh and clap. He was so excited and the louder the better.
03. Helping The Grief-Stricken Prepare For Grief Triggers
Birthdays, anniversaries and other significant days can cause great pain after the loss of a beloved. Counselors call them grief triggers. Some people have confessed that these days can be more painful than the day itself. Grief itself is a deep distress over the loss, which causes deep pain. No person is immune to grief, but although everybody experience grief we do experience it differently. Some identified phases or stages of grief, but even they agree that grief is not a linear process. Grief doesn't play by any rules and there is no time limit to how long grief can take. The hard reality of grief is that just when you think you have conquered it, the pain can suddenly return anew. That is why anniversaries, birthdays, and other special days tend to reawaken the pain.
04. A Widow's Change of Season
Summer is over. No more trips to the beach. No more sunbathing by the pool. No more ice-cold smoothies on a hot afternoon. Why does it have to end? Sound like something else in your life?
Your spouse dies and your marriage is over. No more vacations together. No more mornings drinking coffee together. No more planning for the future together. Why did it have to end??
Community Artwork
Featured Product | |
 | |
| Personalized iPhone Cover | $19.99 |
Available for iPhone 3G/3GS, iPhone 4, and iPhone 5 - can be personalized with photo, dates, name, quote ... | |
Grief Videos - On Demand | |
 | |
| How To Walk With The Bereaved - On Demand | $7.99 |
How to walk with the bereaved is a unique program dealing exclusively with the subject of how to comfort and help someone who has experienced a great loss in their life. | |
