Before the Fall

What was I saying, when I got the news?

Was I telling a story, humming a tune?

I know where I was and who I was with,

but what was I thinking before I got hit.

And hit I was, right in the heart

twenty five seconds to tear me apart

Then I asked "Are you sure?"  like everyone else

ten more seconds and all disbelief just melts

A minute to breath and turn back around

my parents just watching, not making a sound.

"Cyndy, your daughter, my sister, she's gone

They found her, they knew her, no chance that they're wrong."

The sobbing and crying, the questions, the pain,

the tissues and towels, the guilt and the blame.

The  phone starts to ring The good rangers came

now nothing, not one thing will feel quite the same.

But slowly the tears and the heartbeats both slow

Plans to be made and things to let go.

No time now to grieve, no time to shut down

no logic no insight no clues to be found.

But what was I saying?  I just can't recall

That night at my parents when I took that call.

Doesn't matter,  Won't change things, no difference at all

I just want that feeling  before the fall

I want to remember how life was before

the call that turned five into heart broken four.

I want that lest second before that cold chill

I miss that old feeling --and I always will.