Bring Joy Back Into Your Life Whilst Grieving

Contrary to some peoples’ ideas about grief it is possible to experience joy at life even in the midst of grieving.  Grief is not a static emotion but rather it ebbs and flows just like the ocean.  At some moments in our lives our grief is powerful like huge crashing waves upon rocks during a storm.  At other moments our grief is softer and gentler, like a baby wave caressing the sand on a quiet day.  It is when our grief is like this that we can start to find joy in our lives once again.

Bringing joy back into our lives begins with an ability to become more present in life.  When our grief is quieter it is easier for us not to be distracted by thoughts of the past or worries of the present.  These thoughts take us out of the present moment and away from our ability to experience joy. 

The greater our ability to experience joy whilst we are grieving the greater our ability to move through our grief.  Joy can provide precious moments of respite from grief and help us cultivate a deeper sense of gratitude for what we still have in our life.

We need this balance within our life.  Too often when a loved one dies we are so focused on our loss and our grief that we forget the amazing gifts that still remain in life.  Joy allows us to refocus on these.  In doing so we gain greater strength for when those stormy waves of grief return once again.

Take a moment now and think of all the good things that still remain in your life.  Think of the people that are still alive in your life.  Think of precious moments when your grief ebbs away and you find the opportunity to appreciate the dance of a bumblebee or the bright glow of the warm sun or the smile of someone you deeply care about.  Think about all the good memories you have of times with your loved one and recognise that they still exist in the present because you remember them.

If there is a message that our loved ones could pass onto us it is this: Let joy back into your life.  Don’t spend so much time in grief.  Appreciate the simple gifts of being alive.  Remember the joy that your loved one brought to your life by being part of it rather than focusing on the pain caused by their death.  Allow yourself to use these moments of joy to sustain you when the waves of your grief become overwhelming.  Let them bring you comfort and use them to soothe the storm.

Questions for Self-Reflection:

• In what ways have you experienced joy since the death of your loved one?
• How can you increase the amount of joy in your life as you grieve?
• What things in your life still bring you joy?
• What memories of your loved one bring you joy?