So while out shopping I came across something that I really liked.  As a woman you must know that we always want what we want, we like to decorate our homes to look good, when presented with a good deal it is even better (LOL).  The whole time while admiring the brown ottoman my whole intent was to just have it to add to our new space. 


My daughter and I are on the bridge to building a new life, life has never been just two, now here we are just two.  It is not a place we would of wanted to be, yet we are striving to build a new home, a space of our own, scared yes, knowing we will make it through, of course we will.  This to so many may be the most scariest, to me it is the most difficult to imagine, never been alone with out my loved one passed since I was twenty-two, now on top of it all I am a single mother. 


That is just it we feel we are alone, we feel the rest of our future will be just us, yet we seem to forget we are NEVER ALONE.  When thoughts of this enter your mind remember love is all around you, support of family as well as friends is only a phone call away.  Remember our loved ones passed will forever remain with us, as a guardian, as love, they will always be the ones to protect as well as guide us in this life we are living.  From the deepest of my heart I know they are the working force in our life to make sure that we may always be protected, that our lives will forever be blessed.


If you are in your home surrounded by memories, the memories you feel are so painful you find yourself not being able to get out of it, I suggest to make it your own.  Although understanding you may feel if you do you are trying to forget along with feeling guilty, that is not so, change is allowing yourself to break out of that pain, to release it, allowing yourself to start a new.  Change is scary yet a part of life that is a must.  I've said it before " living through your fears is how we see just how far we can go, living out of our boundaries is where we realise just how much we are capable of".  So yes change is a must, even if it is changing furniture around for the time being, once you see you got through it, you will start to make changes more, you will then see it is "YOUR SPACE" that the memories are not what is around you, yet always forever in your heart.


We all seem to hold on to the idea that to remember things everything needs to stay as is, not realising the memories are not what is around us, the memories are what will forever be in our hearts, as well as our minds, our thoughts, our feelings.  Remaining THE SAME is keeping our lives on hold, so change is not forgetting it is building a new life, yet holding our loved ones passed with us each along with every day in our hearts.  The cycle of life will forever be changing, that does not mean we forget, it means we begin to blossom, we begin to build towards ANEW.  NEW never forgets old, it is the old that creates the new.


Always remember TRUE LOVE never ever goes anywhere, we may not be able to hear nor see our loved ones passed but they forever remain with us.  It is not through material things we allow their life to be remembered, it is through us as well as their child/children along with their family they forever walk with us in to our future.


So GET EXCITED to changing up your space, make it a replica of you, of you as well as your child/children.  You will see just how comforting it will be, you will see just how proud you are of yourself while doing it.  Once you live through your fears little by little you will see there is nothing you can not do.  You will find yourself smiling, with a sensation of huge gratitude, you will feel your loved ones passed are smiling upon you full of love of all that you are conquering.  It is through our loved ones passed we see just how much we can get through as well as do.  Their love is a gift to us, it shows us we are capable of loving to no extent.  It is due to them we fought the big fight, that we keep fighting the big fight, that we strive to build a beautiful new life.  That giving up is not an option, when faced with the most difficult of things we use the power of love that was given to us to make it past.  Our loved ones passed opened the doors of many possibilities to our lives, they continue to do so each as well as every day.


Going back to the ottoman, while purchasing I never thought what it was I would do with it.  Getting it home I thought of something, I thought to gather all important things of my loved one passed that I held on to yet had a very hard time to see.  Each thing I placed inside the ottoman, promising myself that each day I would go pick one thing out to write down how it made me felt.  That I would no longer hide from it, that throwing it out would only be not dealing with it, that it would be the easy way out.  We truly can not live our life if we do not face our pain, if we forever keep avoiding our fears.  So each day I go back to the ottoman, I embrace the things of my loved one passed that causes me to feel pain, I keep writing what it was that I felt that day.  It is not until I can approach this ottoman along with his belongings that I no longer feel pain, yet happiness of the memories behind the items of my loved one will I ever stop going back.


NOTE TO ALL:  Writing your thoughts of how you feel is a very therapeutic way to release your pain, as you write the thoughts you write away the pain, you let it go in the writing.  Face your fears that is truly how we grow, that is how we realise dreams are made.  This is how we start noticing just exactly what we can do in our life.  Through our fears we become fearless, starting to realise there is nothing we can not do to conquer a life of absolute DREAM CATCHING.  Having that true love of our loved ones passed in our life is what makes us realise just how powerful we are.  Our loved ones passed have given us a gift, they have given us a true blessing that not everyone will ever get to have.




TRUE LOVE is a gift of God, it shows us our life is full of endless possibilities.  Our loved ones passed were a gift of God instilled in our lives to prove to us our life is here for a purpose, that loving with out limits opens all doors to our dreams, there is not anything we can not be as well as do.  Thank you to "Bishop Jakes" brought to us all by the GREATEST LADY EVER "OPRAH".


Tonya O

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About the Author
BLOGGER FOR ALL GRIEVING ON THE JOURNEY TO WRITING A BOOK "Spouse to Angels in the City" Widow for 11 months also mother of a beautiful little girl
Grief In Action