The Need For Motion And Movement When Mourning

Over the years I have taught many bereaved people a critical concept: for every thought and emotion there is a physical representation of that thought or emotion in every cell in the body. This is a physiological fact of life. That is why anger increases heart rate and blood pressure. Or, ongoing stress compromises the immune system and mourners become ill. Making this concept part of your belief system will be a great motivator to implement your movement plan and manage emotion.

The body-mind relationship is real. But do mourners pay close attention to this information? Hardly. Yet, psychologists the world over tell us we all need physical outlets for emotional stimuli. We can release a great deal of pent-up emotion through planned movement and reap physical benefits as well. Be sure to get clearance from your physician before you start your program.

1. First, approach motion and movement from the viewpoint of psychological benefits. Don't call it exercise in your inner dialogue and get it caught up with all the programmed "negatives" about hard work and taking too much time, etc., which tend to be discouraging. See it as an important part of your healing journey. Act as if, come hell or high water, you will participate regularly in this healing ritual.

2. Types of planned movement. Although there are numerous ways to elevate heart rate, choose one or two activities that are pleasing to you. I will recommend two: walking and the use of light weights. Walk around your neighborhood at a specific time in your scheduled day. For safety reasons check out your route in advance. Many of the bereaved people I work with go first thing in the morning. Spend a minimum of twenty minutes, three times a week.

3. Walk in the solace of nature. You might wish to consider alternating your neighborhood walk with one in a purely natural setting, at your local park or by the seashore. As you walk focus on the wonders of nature and the feelings generated. Then take some time to toy with this question concerning your future: what do I want? And am I doing the things to help me get to my goal?

4. As you walk keep track of the impressions you receive. What pops into the theater of your mind? What does it say about your grief work and the direction you are taking? What are you learning from self-observation? Make every effort to be open to new knowledge about life and helping others that your experience is bringing forth. Consider what you have learned thus far. Grief always gives us new information about living. We can choose to create wisdom and character out of our dark experiences.

5. Try prayer-walking. Think of a prayer or prayers that you like and recite them silently or out loud. Perhaps you could memorize The Serenity Prayer, which possesses great practical wisdom for dealing with change, or make one up of your own. Some mourners pray the rosary. Then, too, you can simply carry on a conversation with your Higher Power. After you speak, make it a practice to listen to what pops into your mind. Are you using your imagination to create how you wish to cope with your great loss?

6. Occasionally, switch the focus from your inner thoughts to what you feel physically. With each step notice the contraction and relaxation of muscles in the legs. Determine if you can sense an increase in your breathing rate. Start to become an expert at listening to your body and letting it release tension.

7. In the use of light weights, try one or both of the following. Carry one or two-pound weights in each hand as you take your walk. This will give you additional benefits for the legs as well as the shoulders and arms. Or you may want to keep a two-pound and a five-pound weight next to your easy chair where you sit to watch television.

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