Heaven's Bucket List

I never really created a bucket list before. Growing up, my life was such a mass of constant change, that I didn’t make plans for the future; I just took life as it came to me. When I started dating and later became engaged to Chase, we had fun making plans and planning a future. We did a lot together, but there were so many things we kept saying “one day, well do that.” Since he’s passed away, I keep thinking of all those “one day” things. Recently I was talking with a friend at church about the rental car I had to use. I drive Chase’s car that his parents gave me when we lost him. His car stalled on me over the weekend, so I got a rental while it was being worked on. It was a cute car, but I prefer his 93 Camry over the Jetta. The one thing I liked over the Camry was that the engine started with a button. My bud and I got to talking about our favorite features of cars and we got on the topic of what kind of car we might want to drive in heaven (mine would defiantly be a convertible) which brought up the phrase Heaven’s Bucket List. So I came up with a list of things I’d like to do with Chase in heaven.

♥ See a drive in movie. He’d never been to one and the few times we suggested it to the other, there was something else going on. He made the suggestion the day before he passed, but I wanted to wait till his car was out of the shop because my windshield had a long crack on the passenger side and I didn’t want it affecting his view. Hindsight seems silly, so THIS is the first thing I want to do in heaven with him.

♥ Camping under the stars. We both love camping but only went once together with a bunch of friends and slept in different tents. Imagine the stars in heaven with no pollution to impede the view. A blanket of stars, sleeping bags, and a fire crackling…sounds amazing!

♥ Visit New Zealand. Especially if the Hobbiton movie set is up :)

♥ Video game marathon. He liked video games more, but we enjoyed playing the Lego Xbox games together and when I play them alone now I remember how much fun we had partnering up and chilling on the couch all day in front of the fire.

♥ Dance to our song. “God Gave Me You” was the song we were going to dance to together on our wedding day.

♥ Challenge my grandpa to horseshoes. Since my grandpa died when I was 3, we’ve always said he’s up there playing horseshoes and I can’t wait to play it with him and the rest of our family.

♥ Explore trails/hiking.

♥ Visit DC. It’s where we wanted to go for our honeymoon or 1 year wedding anniversary, inspired by our Bones TV show marathon.

♥ Drive around in an RV. Always wanted to do this! We liked traveling and seeing new things, this would be awesome.

♥ Hold his hand in Ireland. My parents took me to Ireland during the week we would have gotten married at our Celtic wedding. While he was there in spirit, I’d love to be able to wonder around Ireland again side by side.

♥ See him in a kilt. Above I mentioned a Celtic wedding and he had planned on wearing a kilt that day (his choice!). I had a dream shortly after he passed that he was wearing one, but I’d love to see it with my own eyes.

♥ Star Wars marathon on big screen. Ok, we were silly geeks and loved Star Wars. Chase passed away before the 7^th Star Wars movie came out, which we had planned to see for his birthday. We had a Star Wars marathon for our six month anniversary and watched them a lot. I’d love to see them on a heaven sized big screen.

♥ Movie studio grill. I don’t know what it’s called in other places, but a few towns away we have something called the Movie Studio Grill where you watch movies and dinner is brought to you. It’s so fun and something I did for the first time with my sister shortly before Chase passed away. Goes with the above wish, because watching the new Star Wars movie this way was awesome.

♥ Worship. Worshiping is not the same without him. He loved worship music and despite the fact that he COULD NOT sing, it didn’t stop him. I remember going to church service with him and having him have one arm around me and the other arm raised as he sang.

♥ Really smile and laugh. The final one for me. To be able to smile and laugh because I’m happy. I can laugh at a funny moment, smile as when I’m with friends. But when the moment is over and the friends go home, the smile vanishes. I was happier than ever with Chase, even when it wasn’t there, I glowed with the knowledge that such an incredible man loved me and I’d see him again soon. I’d get his cute texts, hear his laughter and curl in his arms and I was at peace. I still have the knowledge of his love and protection, but his laugh is only in memories.

 I don’t know what Heaven has to offer. No one really knows. Flying cars? Museums? Marriage? Love? Can you learn new things? Do you sleep? What about food? What will we wear? Sports, who plays it, former athletes or can anyone play? Can you imagine Moses scoring the winning touchdown in football? People have gone back and forth on what to expect, but we will never know until we get there ourselves. God knows our hearts desire, and our thoughts are limited to our imagination. There are no limits to God. Whatever is up there, it will be glorious. And when I get bummed out I’m doing something new he would have liked or do something we wanted to do together, I try to remember that there is still a chance to have those experiences together. And I’ll add it to my bucket list.