Words to the Dead

Do I sleep? I must a little; there are visions of fragmented dreams still dancing around the cusp of my consciousness 

as I become aware of the next hour that has passed
I see it's 1:30 in the morning...so disappointing as I only fell asleep at 12:00
Awake so soon...
Probably from the ache caused by the empty space beside me
I try to pretend you're there sometimes
I concentrate with all my might to sense you there
but usually I fail..
the absence of your breathing, that once lolled me contently to sleep, is deafening
I wait to feel you caress my face... you said you would; but I feel nothing
Nothing comforting anyway, just the sadness and the very weary state i'm starting to get used to
I know eventually I won't cry every day ..or wake to find tears on my face that i don't recall shedding 
I know eventually I won't curse you for leaving me 
I know eventually I won't feel such anger...for having to wait 50 years to find you, only to be robbed of you in less than 2 
I know eventually I won't have to pretend that I'm okay 
and I know eventually the nights won't feel so long
But for now, I wish you'd give me the comfort you promised me... 
and the peace that I need
so I can
finally...
sleep