Nightmares and Dreams

My name is Michelle and for 19 months I was loved by my best friend, soul mate, inspiration, snuggle buddy, fellow geek and the best man I ever knew. My amazing fiancé was born with a heart condition, but after open heart surgery at age 20, he was in good shape, even took on running. So it was a horrifying shock when he passed away July 3rd 2015 of an enlarged heart at 25. Chase and I served together as ushers at our church and fell deeply in love. We had the kind of love even people in relationships envied. It seems God worked it out for our relationship to be so strong and so true because we would only have a short amount of time. We were one and still are. Imagine my sense of pride and awe when it hit me that I was literally made for him, he had never even had a crush on another girl before. Chase was everything I prayed for and so much more...a true angel on earth. Kind, respectful, duty bound, fun, always willing to help anyone, a steadfast Royal Ranger Commander, greeted everyone with a smile and gave the best hugs. Everyone loved him and I am still in awe that he chose me. Since he's been gone, I find it hard to breathe and mourn the loss of our future together, a future we were having so much fun planning. I still feel him near me at times and while I cry every single day, some harder than most, I do remember that I will see him again, and this time it will be for eternity. In fact, his is the first face I want to see and I know what the first words out of his mouth should be; what he would say most often when he saw me and his face would light up with joy and love: "Hi, sweetie!"