Sometimes, There Just Aren’t Enough Butterflies…

Sometimes, There Just Aren’t Enough Butterflies…

#5… This is my fifth article on life, death, grief, and signs.  To make sense of the journey I propose for you, I recommend that you, please, step through my articles in order.  They may be found at https://thegrieftoolbox.com/users/jamiepaulwesseler    I make this recommendation because it is the journey this non-believer made to arrive where I am today in my belief and faith as to what happens to us when we die.  And as mentioned in my previous writings, without faith and hope of what has become of our lost loved ones, our souls will perish – of that I am certain.

To follow is the first of my yellow swallow-tail butterfly stories – signs from our son, Patrick.  I enjoy thinking back over this first sighting, but it is the second (next week’s) tale that inspires me the most.  This first tale set up Susan, my wife, and me for the incredible swallow-tale stories yet to come…      

“There are two ways to be fooled.  One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.”                                    Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

As I described in my 4^th message, our son, Patrick, so looked forward to first meeting his niece, Juliana, in May of 2014 at his “little” sister’s wedding in Greensboro, NC.  He died the January before the wedding.  We knew how much that wedding, that first meeting meant to him, and to not have him there in attendance was yet another reason to shake our heads and lose faith in our god.  What kind of master could forsake his subjects as He had? 

We clung to the Pappy experience of Juliana at Patrick’s funeral; we desperately wanted and needed his presence at his sister’s wedding…     

Saturday, May 24^th, 2014, gracefully entered our lives as no other day could have.  The planned roof top wedding in downtown Greensboro, NC, thrilled us to no end, especially if perfect weather came with it.  Storybook perfect reigns as the category for it all:  family, friends, great pre-wedding events… just beautiful.  While I helped prepare the rooftop location, Susan joined the ladies of the wedding party to get her hair made up and ready for the big event.  And while much warmed her soul, a part of her soul thought and ached for Patrick’s presence.  She told no one, but she asked him for a sign that he would be in attendance.

Five stories up overlooking the heart of Greensboro, NC, I took my seat after handing Anna over to her future husband and another incredible son in-law.  The bright sky, beautiful late afternoon setting could not have been more perfect.  Juliana as one of the flower girls, her mother, Jacquelyn, our oldest daughter, as the Maid of Honor,  members of our new family, Anna’s bridesmaids, who each was one of our daughters having known them forever or so it seemed, and our son in-law, Daniel, the father of that awesome granddaughter of ours, stood in front of us – our entire family gathered together in front of us as Susan and I took in the spectacular awe of it all… except we both felt the void of not having Patrick with us.

But then, flitting up and over the rooftop wall behind Daniel fluttered the most beautiful yellow swallow-tailed butterfly… up and over Daniel, up around and over the wedding party…  the soul of that butterfly sought out just that group of family members as it circled them once… and then, disappeared as quickly as he had come.  At that exact moment… when his entire family was together… as Susan and I took it all in, every brilliant, love-filled moment, the butterfly danced up and around the entire wedding party!  The butterfly did not enter a moment before or a moment after the most perfect time it could have to be intentional – with purpose.   I had worked that rooftop most of the day, and never for any period of time had a butterfly or moth been seen.  At the most impeccable moment, the single yellow swallow-tailed butterfly joined us for the ceremony… and only over the immediate wedding party.

Susan and I looked at one another… we looked around to see if others had taken note; no acknowledgement elsewhere, but we cherished our gift of Patrick’s sign.

I did not know of Susan’s request of Patrick until we discussed the butterfly sign after the ceremony.  I was so thrilled to hear her story… and, she did not know what I had to share with her:  When Patrick had been at our house one afternoon, I pointed out the beauty of a yellow swallow-tailed butterfly and told him they were my favorite of butterflies.  I believe he took note, as we experienced his perfectly planned and timed sign for us at Anna’s wedding.  Beyond a doubt… with Susan’s request, my love of that specific butterfly type and my conversation with Patrick, a roof top location… no butterfly or moth sighting before or after the wedding, and the precise moment of the ceremony when everyone stood up front…  Son, you planned and executed the most perfect of signs… just incredible.

We were disappointed to learn that so few noticed the butterfly, but the guests focused on the ceremony… and maybe only Susan and I were to take note.  We hoped a video or picture caught the flight for us, but to date, we do not have a record of it.  But Susan and I saw him:  We were meant to; it was our sign.  Thank you, Patrick and Susan… and as I stated above, what I believe to be an even more miraculous tale will be shared with you next week… and I have pictures of proof for that one.

Sometimes, there just aren’t enough butterflies… but it only takes one with perfect timing.

                                                                                                                      Gratefully,

                                                                                                                      Jamie