how the rest of the world lives

The mind tends to follow along the paths it's always known

in my case it's sharing with her

when I see something interesting

I instinctively reach for my phone

or turn to her

to tell her about it

and share what I've seen

or heard

or felt

or thought

we were truly one

in almost every way

married for 37 years

and part of each other another 3

I couldn't imagine life apart from her

I still can't

and she's been gone for more than two years

every thought

every word

every event

is filtered through the lens

of what it would mean to us as a couple

I saw part of a rainbow the other day

incomplete above the cloud

but whole and vibrant below

so I took a photo with my phone

and began to text it to her

on a number that no longer exists

and stopped short

but

she would have liked it

and the knowledge that I thought of her

would have made her smile

that ever present smile

that gave me pause to wonder

what I'd ever do without her

I thought my life would end

and in many ways it has

leaving me with this

a slow and deliberate plodding along

just existing in this world and little more

I can't complain after all

for most of my life I had everything I wanted

and now I know

how the rest of the world lives.