Missing Your Parents During the Holidays Series: 7 Ways to Feel Better (Part 5)


Want to give your parents a Christmas present this year?

I know that one of our goals as humans is to live life happy and if we aren't happy, to somehow find what is going to make us happy. I've heard many times from many different authors who write about life after death, our loved ones just want us to be happy. They don't want us to carry around pain or guilt. It's our job as humans to work out our pain and guilt so we can continue living. We are the ones who are still alive and we are the ones who need to go on living in the physical world. Grief can feel like you're stuck in one place... it can also feel like you're never going to move forward. If you're willing to do a little bit of work each day, I promise you, you can move mountains.

I had a crappy car that was giving me emotional pain every time I drove it. It reminded me of my of my mom dying, the days leading up to her death, and the life I continued to live without her. I searched for what felt like a long 9 months, trying to figure out what kind of car I'd like to have an on-going relationship with that would bring me pleasure. At first, I wasn't sure if I could do it without my parents or someone else's help. I wasn't even sure if I *wanted* to do it on my own. I decided I was fully capable of doing the research and work to get the car I wanted, and was committed to not letting anything stop me from getting it. This is me jumping for joy after finally finding and buying the car I wanted and I did it all by myself! A car baby in my life was born, lol!

You can give your mom or dad a present this year for Christmas, and throughout the year: a promise to yourself and to them that you're going to live life happy and if you're not there, that you're committed to figuring out 1 thing that can make your life better, easier, more fulfilling, more enjoyable and make it a reality.

If Christmas in general is creating pain inside you - figure out 1 thing this year that you can change, that you have control over and  put it into action. If you commit to yourself that the ultimate goal out of this moment is happiness, you can focus on what you can control right there in the moment. Sometimes it's your mood and attitude that you have control over. Sometimes it's a situation or people you're spending time with. Sometimes it's changing a tradition. I gave a few examples of things I have changed and examples of how to make a shift in Missing Your Parents During the Holidays Series: 7 Ways to Feel Better (Part 1)

The present you can give your parents and yourself is to make sure you're moving forward in your grief and doing the best you can at making your life as blissful as possible. I got this tattoo to remind me of what I should be doing, and when I forget, I just look in the mirror.


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About the Author
"The Last Words Ever Spoken" A free book for you. 19 Pages, PDF. Get it, here

My name is Lisa A. Snyder and I have lost both parents in my 20′s to cancer. My father passed away the day before my 23rd birthday from Hodgekins Disease Lymphoma in October 2004 and my mother passed away when I was 27, to AML (Leukemia), in June 2009. After being by their side during the decline of their health, I learned to be present and to help each of my parents finish up their business here in preparation for transitioning to whatever is after this life, deal with family, hospitals, keeping up my energy level, staying afloat in my own life as well as process my own grief.

Now, I’m working towards understanding how to live and keep living as best I can with life’s challenges I face daily, not having any parents. I’m trying to continue to live a healthy, active and adventurous, art filled life while I attempt to understand how to cope each day that goes by that they aren’t in my physical life.

My Intention is to connect those of us who have lost our mothers, our fathers or both parents, at any age, through art, writing, and focusing on the positive, despite these circumstances that have changed us forever.

Losing your parents could be anything from cancer, illness, sudden death, divorce, separation, being adopted, growing up not knowing who your mother or father was or being cut off from your parents because of your sexuality or life decisions.

Read more about my journey on my blog: http://LosingYourParents.org
See the art I create on my website: http://LisaASnyder.com
Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/LosingParents
Like me on Facebook: http://facebook.com/LosingYourParents
Helping The Bereaved