What Does In the Spirit of Christmas Mean?

What does "In the Spirit of Christmas" mean to you? Why does this time of year bring about happiness and a spirit of joy? Or, does it really do that?

I just watched a television news segment on "Holiday Stress" and the adverse health reactions it causes. The reporter focused on all the holiday activities that cause anxiety and stress and gave suggestions to avoid these potentially dangerous mental and physical health symptoms.

What was even more interesting to me, was that the tips mentioned all included the perception of things that supposedly make us happy, such as shopping early, times to shop, ordering online, staying within your budget, suggested gifts, etc. I waited for at least a minor mention of other things that might cause anxiety and stress during the holidays, such as grief, loneliness, sadness that might come from losing a loved one; however, I guess that wasn't a subject to discuss "In the Spirit of Christmas."

If you are grieving the loss of a loved one this holiday season, you might feel alone, empty, sad, and even annoyed by the festivities. Although innocent, you might envy others as they shop, bake, travel, and enjoy family togetherness. You might even feel that others who are close to you have forgotten about your loss. I cannot stress enough to you that your feelings are natural and normal, especially if this is your first Christmas, or holiday, without your loved one.

I encourage you to not isolate yourself, or go into denial, because that will only complicate your grief even more. So, here are a few suggestions for you:

• Find an activity to honor and remember your loved one, i.e., do something that they always loved to do.

• Blend old traditions with new traditions, i.e., purchase a new ornament and hang it with one of your loved one's favorite ornaments.

• Talk about your loved one. If you choose to attend holiday events, don't be afraid to mention the elephant in the room. Others may not do so because they are afraid that it may not be appropriate, or may sadden you or the mood of the event. If you do so, it gives others the okay to talk about the fond memories.

Remember that you must go through to get through, so reaching out for support from a non-judgmental friend or group who has also experienced a loss can be extremely beneficial.

During this holiday season, I encourage you to blend your tears of sadness with tears of joy for having known and for having loved; and, more importantly, for having been gifted with the presence of your loved one. Cherish the memories and embrace the future as you embark on your "new" life in the coming New Year. Wishing you peace and comfort.

This year, Dora Carpenter, author and certified grief coach, is offering her 21-Day Holiday Grief to Gratitude Challenge free of charge. Get details and register at http://www.FromGriefToGratitude.com.