What Role Does Fear Play in the Grief Process?

Underlying many of the natural and normal emotions of loss and grief is fear. Although not readily apparent when one is feeling the pains of loss, beneath it all might be fear... that distressful thought that one can't handle the death, the painful emotions, and the thought of the future without their loved one.

Statistics say that less than two percent of unresolved grief can affect every area of your life. Death is inevitable, and the emotions of loss are normal; but, one needs to do the grief work in order to move forward. Fearing what lies ahead can keep one stuck in the wilderness of grief. Acknowledging, accepting, and taking action is a recipe for coping with this life altering event.

Fear is trending today in our society. We fear beginnings, yet we fear endings. We fear changing, yet we fear staying stuck. We fear failure, yet we fear success. We fear living, yet we fear dying. We even fear the word fear. Fear of not being able to cope with the painful emotions of grief, of being alone, of financial burdens resulting from the loss, or necessary changes that now must take place, can all delay the grief process and contribute to unresolved grief.

Oftentimes, one doesn't acknowledge, or even recognize, fear as a hindrance to moving forward after a loss, or any life changing event. Once one is educated on the topic of fear, and comforted by the fact that everyone experiences fear, they are better able to transition from grief to gratitude. Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. identifies five meaningful and helpful truths about fear in her book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

I have a coaching question for you. Right now, if you knew that you could handle anything or any situation that came your way, what would you have to fear? If you answered nothing, then fear itself might not be the problem. The challenge is in learning how to handle it. Many suffer in silence, not knowing that fear might be masking the many pitfalls of grief, such as denial, anger, guilt, or forgiveness.

You have an obligation to live your life for the rest of your life. I encourage you to share your feelings with someone. Talk to your spiritual advisor, trusted and non-judgmental friend, counselor or therapist, or a grief coach. We want you to cherish the memories of your dear loved one, while you embrace your future.

Learn more about how fear can affect your grief journey at http://www.fearistrending.com.

Dora Carpenter, Certified Professional Coach and Founder of The ANIYA Group Life Coaching Center, is known for challenging you to move from grief to gratitude and motivating you to do so. She has worked in the death care industry for over 14 years and has appeared as a guest on podcasts, radio, and television.