Leaving Reality Behind Is Not An Option

"There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. There are times when reality is nothing but pain and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind"

I pulled on your sweater this morning at 04:30, grabbed my camera and rushed down to the beach on impulse.  I beat the sunrise to the beach. I wanted to get away from the routine of lying in bed upon waking and staring into space as another day dawned and forced me to face the day...waiting for the full impact of your absence to hit. I wanted to escape the painful routine. Be gone before it came. To find you and be close to you...somewhere else...away, just away...

I sat on the sand and took so many pictures.  I watched the rain on the horizon, the sun piercing the clouds.  I watched the waves crash angrily on the beach.  The sun broke through the dark clouds and brought some peace to the angry dark waves...gold to the dark clouds.  

I realize this is life now.  Darkness and light, pain and sorrow, tinged with hope that breaks through.  Love that won't let go.

I wait..could this be the day?  The clouds do not part, no angels descend to fetch me to you.  I feel the sun start to heat the day.  Its time to go back home...reality cannot be escaped.  It demands to be faced.

 

About the Author
I lost the love of my life tragically and suddenly on 24 April 2014, 22 short months after meeting. He was the centre of my universe - my life. I am forever changed by this loss. I celebrate the day we met and the lifetime of memories we created in our short time together and at the same time mourn the future we will not have - the wedding that will not take place...growing old together. I live for our reunion day in heaven...
I'm Grieving, Now What?