It’s continually espoused that the anniversary of the death of a loved one, their birthdays, Christmases, Weddings and other special life events can be particularly challenging after the death of a loved one. These times are known to increase the absence that we feel of our loved one in our life. They are also known for triggering negative memories and causing old grief to resurface.
Grieving the loss of a loved one comes in as many forms as there are people grieving. A significant part of the process of the loss can be honoring this loss, honoring the person who has passed and honoring the self in that loss.
Traditional honoring
The biggest secret in adapting to loss and massive change is to fully understand and strongly believe that it all begins from the inside. This simply means, while it is good to have a nurturing support network and a safe place to go with your emotions, in the final analysis, what you do, specifically the choices you make is the big difference. Your decisions alone will result in adapting to and living with the pain of your great loss or adding unnecessary suffering to the process.
EXPLAINING DEATH TO YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN:
SIMPLE GESTURES TO COMFORT THEM
What can we do to help when someone we know has experienced a death of a loved one?
By Tanya Lord
“What can we do?”
“Let us know if there is anything at all we can help with”
As noted in an earlier post, the National Students of AMF Support Network is dedicated to supporting college students coping with the illness or death of a loved one, and empowering all college students to fight back against terminal illness. To accomplish its mission, the organization helps students start local chapters nationwide.
Summer is over. No more trips to the beach. No more sunbathing by the pool. No more ice-cold smoothies on a hot afternoon. Why does it have to end? Sound like something else in your life?
Your spouse dies and your marriage is over. No more vacations together. No more mornings drinking coffee together. No more planning for the future together. Why did it have to end??
Seasons change. We go from summer to fall to winter to spring. My life went from single, to married, to widowed, to remarried.
Grief is something that easily sneaks up on us at times. We may have some indication that it's almost upon us, but many times we know don't until we are deep within it.
Grief isn't something to fear nor is it something to run from. It is something to embrace and accept the gifts it may have hiding within it.
Mom passed when I was 13 years old. I remember barely able to stand or walk at the funeral. Sitting in the front row and the Minister spoke of her (they were good friends), but all I could do was sob thinking I would never see her again.
Life guarantees us two things: change and loss, together they make up the unpredictable rhythm of life. They also exert tremendous pressure on the soul. If we don't stop long enough to notice, we'll wake up one day and wonder why the light's gone out of our eyes, and why passion is but a distant memory. All the losses in our lives are significant, and each has shaped our beliefs about life, God and the world around us, that's why it's critical to recognize them, no matter how insignificant they may appear.
