I Don't Know How to Do This

We miss them. We loved them, and we love them still. How do we do this?

From the Grieving Heart:

I miss you. I know I say that a lot, but it’s true.

I could say, "I love you." That's still true too. It always will be.

I guess that means that I'll always miss you. I can't imagine life without you, even though that's the life I'm living now. I think it will be a long time before I stop looking for you. I keep expecting you to come around the corner, to text, or to call. 

I don't know how to do this. I feel terrible. I'm sad. I feel alone. Everyone's looking at me, like they're trying to size up how I'm doing. People I counted on have disappeared. I guess they don't know what to do with this either. 

Why did you have to go? I know this is final, but my heart keeps trying to find a way to reverse history and make you appear. I'm not ready to let you go. I don't know if I'll ever be ready. 

I love you. I miss you.

How do we do this?

We miss them. Love runs deep in the heart. Once it takes up residence, it will not be dislodged or evicted. Love remains. Love endures all things. It knows no time limit. 

Yes, we will always miss them. Love has carved a permanent place for them in our hearts and lives. Their physical presence may be gone, yet they somehow linger. Their words, actions, and influence remain, hovering around us, bouncing about in our minds. Memories have become painful and wonderful at the same time. 

When loss strikes the heart, we naturally withdraw a little. Stunned, we need time to collect ourselves and begin to tussle with the unwanted and the unthinkable. We're not ourselves at present. Our family and friends notice this and often don't know what to do with it. 

We feel alone. Grief is naturally a lonely process, even if we're surrounded by people. "I'm alone in a crowd," one grieving heart said. 

We miss them because we love them. We will continue loving and missing them. We might find ourselves looking for them in familiar places. Their absence will stun us again and again. 

We loved, and so we grieve.

Affirmation:

I'm missing you. Feeling alone is natural when grieving.

 Adapted from the newly released book, Comfort for Grieving Hearts: Hope and Encouragement for Times of Loss.