I'm Forgetting Things

Loss and grief hits our minds as well as our hearts. Our thoughts are all over the place. We forget things. Are we losing our minds?

From the Grieving Heart:

I'm forgetting things. 

Appointments. Where I put my car keys. What I came into the room for. 

I'm losing words. I have trouble talking in complete sentences and making sense sometimes. I blip out in the middle of conversations, and when I come back to reality, I'm confronted by blank stares and even laughter. 

I'm not myself. This is frustrating and embarrassing. It's like I'm not all here, as if part of me is fading away.  

Honestly, I'm concerned, and a little frightened. 

Am I okay?

I don't feel okay. I feel strange. Some people are worried about me. Others are starting to give me this, "Come on! Get over it!" look. 

Maybe they're right. Perhaps I'm damaged somehow. Maybe I'm the problem. Am I going crazy? 

Are we losing our minds? 

Losing a loved one is crazy. It hits every part of our being and our life. Grief squeezes us, and sometimes there is not much left over for living "normal" or "routine" life. 

Just as our hearts have been hit, our minds are taking a beating too. Grief and the corresponding emotions are taking up more space and requiring a vast amount of focus and energy. We can find that our mental capacity may be naturally challenged and even reduced for a time. 

Forgetfulness begins to show itself. Memory issues surface. We blank out, even in the middle of important conversations. We can't seem to pull up what we knew yesterday. We can't remember where we were this morning or where we're supposed to be next. 

In an age when we're on the alert for mental illness, dementia, and Alzheimer's, this is scary. We naturally wonder what's happening to us. Are we going crazy?

No. We're not crazy, but we are in a crazy-making situation. We've lost someone we love. Life’s usual borders are being strained. Intense and deep grief has been added to our lives on top of all that we do and are responsible for. The pressure can be immense. It can wear us down. 

Yes, we will most likely notice a change in our mental capacity for a while. Our system is on overload, so it naturally eliminates items our hearts don't see as necessary to our survival. 

We are not the same. Everything is affected right now, including our minds. 

We're not crazy but accepting that we're not at our best is important. We can give ourselves a break. All our margin is being gobbled up by grief. This is natural and normal. 

Affirmation:

I feel crazy sometimes because losing you is insane. I will learn to accept that I'm not at my mental best right now. 

 Adapted from the newly released book, Comfort for Grieving Hearts: Hope and Encouragement for Times of Loss. To watch a brief video about the book, click here.