Make a Holiday Survival Wallet Card

Holidays are challenging for those who have lost a loved one. To provide some comfort, a well-known hospice in my community is putting on a concert for families. The director of the hospice contacted me and asked me to say a few words at the concert—just eight or 10 minutes. This was a writing challenge and sticking to the time limit will also be a challenge. I’ve been practicing my talk and hope the audience will relate to it.

At the conclusion of our phone conversation the director asked me if I had any ideas for something the hospice could give attendees. I suggested a book, but she said this wasn’t possible due to budget constraints. “Our funds are limited,” she explained. I suggested a wallet-size card with a list of holiday survival tips. She loved the idea.

I sent her the copy for the card—the sentences below that are printed in bold. The hospice is paying for design and printing. Are you worried about the holidays? You could re-type the bold points, reduce the size of the type, and create your own wallet card. When you’re feeling rushed or stressed or sad, take the card out and read it. Are you working on all of the points? Do you understand the power and comfort of the last one?

• Spend time with people who understand my loss. If an invitation makes you worried or queasy, just say you can’t make it.
• Have one meaningful conversation a day. This conversation may be with a family member, a trusted friend, or even a stranger.
• Promise to be kind to myself. The holidays don’t have to be perfect. Cross off some items on your list and slow down.
• Attend selected events. Note these events on the calendar. The words you write are proof of your planning ability and willingness to venture out.
• Talk about my loved one and find comfort in happy memories. Say your loved one’s name and tell stories.
• Give to others in memory of my loved one. Giving, whether it’s a donation to a health organization, or books to the public library, or food for the local food bank, embodies the spirit of the season.
• Write about my feelings in a journal. This helps you track your journey and, more important, identify problems and find solutions to them.
• Add physical activity to my daily routine. Just a few minutes a day, a 15-minute walk or some stretching, can lift your spirits.
• Remember that love lasts forever and is always with me. Love can guide you and lead you to a new life. Creating that life will be hard, but the human spirit is resilient, and you can do it. I wish you joy and peace and renewed purpose this holiday season and in the days to come.