I have to say that for the rest of my life my husband's death will define who I have become. His death took me to lows I have never been before. It opened up feelings and emotions so deep I never knew I had. And in many ways, I will remain broken forever.
But there has been a rediscovery of me that I never knew existed. I feel today like a vase that fell to the floor and shattered into a million pieces and with time each piece was found on the floor. But those pieces had to be put aside. I truly had to figure out where each piece went. Sometimes I thought I had found the piece that fitted. Only to find out that it did not pertain to that part of the vase I thought it did. And once again I had to place that piece back to the table and try again.
The vase is my life. The pieces are all the things in my life that shattered after he left. And I was left to try to put all those pieces together.
I believe this is the journey of widowhood. We are that vase. And each one of us is picking up those pieces of our shattered lives. Some pieces we pick up thinking they are going to fit only to find out that they don't and so we must put them back into the pile. It's all a learning process of what fits into our shattered life and what does not. Eventually, over time we do manage to fit all the pieces back.
The vase is now complete.
But is it really?
At first glance, that vase looks whole and complete. But with a closer look, you can see traces with your eyes of each shattered piece that was glued together.
I am that vase.
You are that vase.
That vase it no longer a typical vase.
No, it is one that has a story behind it.
It is one that has many lessons to teach with each piece that was mended together.
It is one that will never be the same.
The evidence of a broken vase will forever be seen.
But for now the vase is functioning...........
And after such a fall it's certainly is a huge accomplishment !!
God Bless You All My Widow Sisters and Brothers !