Third Trip Around the Sun

The third trip around the sun without Shannon is just about complete.  I have been warned that Septembers will always be difficult.  It is something for which I really don’t require reminding or a warning.  This year, I am determined to do what I can to fight it as much as possible.  I am just as determined, once it is inevitable, to accept defeat to grief as graciously as possible.  I can ride it out.  Linda is a bit on eggshells – she hates it when I hurt and, like me, she recognizes there just isn’t much that can be done other than to keep breathing.

The dates of the disasters – the surgery on the 7^th, Shannon’s death on the 18^th, and her funeral mass on the 21^st – do matter less each time around.  At the time of the first anniversary, I tried not to schedule anything on those days.  That effort failed and actually I was glad I had no choice but to get up and get to work on each anniversary.  This year, I can say that honestly the dates did not trigger upset as plans were made.   There isn’t the immediate gut reaction to 7, 18, and 21 that there was the first two years.  This year, the 7^th is a Sunday so work won’t be a shelter.  On the 18^th, I’ll be busy with class.  On the 21^st, Linda and I land in Spain for a conference.  Those days will end up OK. 

Though I am always curious, I try not to visit the amazon.com page for “Shannon’s Gift” very often.  I checked it earlier this week and saw the first bad review for the book.  Audrie Clifford awarded two stars and wrote, “I was disappointed. I understand grief and how long it takes to come to terms with the death of someone you love, but this account carried on so long it was as though the author was wallowing in it. I wanted to say, ‘You have to suck it up.’”

I would love for her to write a book about how to “suck it up” because her ability to understand the secret to rapid grieving would help a lot of miserable people get better, quicker.  Who wouldn’t wish for that?