FROM THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT FROM THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN

This Poem explains how difficult grieving is for everyone

        A spouse, partner or child is lost to death,

        The one left behind tries to understand.

        Time “they” say will heal,

        Get back to work,

        Go out and find a companion.

        Advice, advice,

        Concern, concern.

        Who are “they”?

        “They” are friends.

        “They” mean well.

        “They” are the ones,

        From the outside looking in,

        “We” are the ones

        Looking out from the inside.

        Like a child in the womb,

        “We” are growing,

        “We” are finding ourselves again.

        Until your death,

        “We” were one of “them”.

        Full of good intentions,

        Yet so ignorant.

        Ignorant because we have never tried to understand.

        Understand what death is,

        What death does to the one left behind?

        We don’t talk about death,

        We are afraid to ask the simple question.

        How are you really feeling?

        We tend to believe we know

        What the ones left behind are feeling.

        We believe we know what is best for them.

        But the one who is alone,

        Knows that to feel the way we feel,

        “They” will have to experience it themselves.

        It is then “they” will truly understand

       That from the outside looking in,

        Is nothing like those who are

        Looking out from the inside.

       Let “us” grieve “our” way,

       Not the way you think we should.

        Grieving.

        “We” will get through it,

        Accept it on “our” terms.

        We grieve longer than you realize,

        I think we actually grieve forever.

        That’s okay.

        It’s easier for us to put on a facade.

        We to maybe take the easy way out,

        As we don’t want you to worry.

        Now who is the more compassionate?

        The ones looking in from the outside,

        Or the ones looking out from the inside.

        What came first?

        The chicken or the egg.

        It doesn’t matter.

        Just give us space,

        Don’t try to think for us.

        Just be there if needed