7 CHRISTMASES, CAN IT BE?

   This will be our 7^th year without David at Christmas. He would have been 16 this year. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long, because everywhere we look, David is a part of our Christmas. I know there are many who have not suffered a cataclysmic loss like this who don’t understand, or feel we should have moved on (that never happens by the way), but perhaps this will help you understand a bit of what families like ours have gone through. We don’t sit around, sad and depressed constantly, crying at everything. There are an abundance smiles and much laughter, and we have returned to our positive loving lives. But with every smile, there is a reflection of the great loss we have suffered. The tears do come once in a great while, when we let our guard down and let them in, but the thoughts of him are constant. Here’s just a few of the ways that, even though he is gone physically from our lives, he is still as big a part of our lives as ever.

1) I was fortunate to do a production of A CHRISTMAS STORY THE MUSICAL this season that just finished 28 performances. We performed the show for over 20,000 audience members and gave great joy to people by sharing the story of Ralphie and the Red Rider BB gun with them. I got to play one of my early story telling heroes, Jean Shepherd, who wrote and narrated the movie. But every night, while we performed the hilarious story of a boy and his family, and ultimately his dad, I ended the show delivering the lines, “You never asked yourself, do my parents love me?… You were there. They took care of you. Their job was to raise you…” Every night it saddened me to say those lines, because David was not here, and no matter how you look at it, I had not finished my job of raising him.

2) There are ornaments on our tree that bear his name, image, influence, and every time I see one, I think of David. Last night we even put the lottery ticket worth potentially millions of dollars up on the tree next to him to bring us good luck before the night’s drawing (it didn’t work). Ironically, we always think David is our good luck charm.

3) There are presents to be bought for children in the family and for the Giving Tree so those less fortunate will have something for Christmas. I always pick to buy something for a boy, which of course means I stand in the stores looking at potential gifts, and wondering, “What would David like?” His memory and wants guide me.

4) The food we serve and eat at holiday meals are always remembered with, “David liked this,” or “David hated these.”

5) Christmas morning his stocking is the only one that remains hanging on the hearth, because the others have been filled with goodies.

6) Holiday movies like the Grinch and Charlie Brown bring back memories of watching with him. Or even bigger, seeing a movie like Star Wars The Force Awakens brings back all the memories of him playing with his toys and video games, and how he would have loved to have been with me watching the exciting new chapter.

7) Christmas music which he loved to sing always brings his smiling face back to the forefront.

8) Every Christmas card that arrives from others wishing us well, reminds me that since David died we don’t send Christmas cards anymore. It’s not for any great reason except that the first Christmas without him we could not bring ourselves to focus enough to do it, and we decided after stopping, it really wasn’t worth doing anymore in this world where we stay in touch through Facebook and email.

   David is everywhere with us. Most always the memory of him brings a smile these days. Yes, there is always a sadness that comes with it, but that is never going anywhere, I know that, and I’ve come to terms with it. Instead, I choose to remember the smiles, and laughter, and love. They are what great Christmas memories are made of, and what we strive every year to create more of. David never knew a Christmas of loneliness, pain, or want. In that respect he was a very fortunate boy. And I am a very fortunate man to be his father. I just wish he was here so I could tell him. Merry Christmas, or whatever holiday you celebrate. Be good to yourself. Peace, Light, and Laughter.