Am I OK?

Am I Ok? Seems as if many ask this question. Define what really means ok? Will I ever feel about Life as I once did? Knowing that we never see our loved ones again, is hard especially when you feel life has been ripped into shreds. I know that for me, I had to struggle with my self and how I felt inside. I never had a strong enough shoulder to lean on or into. I know that God never left my side, because there were many times that I should of never survived the first year after loosing my daughter.

I had to rely on my mental state and the walls that displayed perfection and coping went up. So I made a clear dislay of I was in control and I coping. When in all, I was crying out at night to take me, because I could not stand the whole in my heart.

While dealing with Life issues, I started to look over the walls, and I wanted what others had found. I wanted a Life, but I felt as if I smiled I had given up on your memory. I know that I had to find myself , because no one could help if they didnt see anything wrong with me. I have oftened wondered if I locked myself inside how long before one would notice, where I was.

I know in my heart that I am not alone, I feel what many of you feel and it seems as we all cope as best as we can, and the words, " are you ok?" Can almost rise the wound again, but sometimes you long for a voice and shoulder or someone to lean on that truly understands, how much of a hurt this can really be.

So, for the many of you that are coping as best as you can, or the ones that family may just not understand the pain, "I do!" As well as many others know what your heart feels, rememeber we are all hear for you. You are never alone and it takes time. Take all the time that you need, I will always be here for you.