I finally got to the place, in my second year of widowhood, that I felt ready to date. I had broken the attachment I had with my late husband. I found someone that I was interested in and felt some happy moments. We first met at a party and from there, our friendship grew from our phone calls. When he asked me out for our first date, I took some time to think about it.
“How are you?” is such a common question we ask it automatically. After four loved ones died – my daughter (mother of our twin grandkids) father-in-law, brother, and the twin’s father -- I was asked this question many times. The twins parents died in separate car crashes and the court appointed my husband and me as their guardians.
I don't listen to music anymore. Even the happy songs can make my heart sad. When I write though, it is because a song started running though my head and would not stop until I wrote what it evoked in my mind. I feel that for some reason, it is something that needs writing. I find that it is not only the newly bereaved that ask this question, the long suffering do too.
FROM BEGINNING TO END
I want to dedicate this to my Mom who passed away Thursday Sept 11 2014.
I wrote this letter below and gave it to her in 1987. When my daughter and daughter in law were cleaning out her items, after she passed away, I found that she had kept this letter.... all these years!
Rest In Peace my love
Everlasting in my memories
So dearly loved
Grief can be very overwhelming and leave us with feeling of helplessness.
Even with established stages of grief: anger, denial, bargaining, and acceptance, we still are unique individuals and can experience so many different levels of pain.
I am just over two months into my Grief journey so I thought I would share some thoughts on it with you.
It is always there, just at the front of your mind. Whether you are conscious of it or not, it is aways there, the loss, the sadness the sorrow. Always there. You cannot step back from it for it is a part of you now, soaked deep into your heart, your soul.
