My new mantra is to stop denying, suppressing, ignoring emotions. There are so many people that walk through life not knowing how they feel. Where did the feeling part of oneself become lost? Ask a young child and they will tell you what they feel and why. This is true especially in grief, it’s really important to feel.
There are days that just don't affect me differently, but then there are days I feel like i should of stayed home. In reality I am not the only one that can dread or shiver thinking about tomorrow. Some days you just think and your mind takes you up hills full of memories and what if.
What happens to our Hearts besides the emotions that are attached and we feel as we try to deal with the stages of the healing process. For me it was the uncertainty of will my Heart ever heal, is the hole in the center stronger than the rest of my Heart and will it take over and make me weaker than I've ever been.
After feeling broken or lost after a Loss of a Loved one. You create walls of protection that guide you and keep others at a didtance. Is this safe? Probably not but you just feel like no one knows and if they pretend to they just treat you differently. I assure you we may look fragile but inside we are stronger but then there are days we are stronger inside than our appearance on the outside.
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I really don’t contemplate the reasons or meaning of life much anymore. I think it would drive me crazy and with all that has happened, crazy is not too far away. I’m sure we all feel that way, that we have gone off our rockers with all the changes that happened so suddenly when our loved one passed. We are not crazy, just different.
