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I have been told that one thing that would help me is to get out and volunteer.  I've thought about it, but I know I am not ready yet.  Losing Ray has been so very hard.  He was my strength when I was down.  You see, when I met Ray, I had very little trust in men.  In fact, I was scared to death of being alone with a man. 

It has become like breathing...

Sometimes I wonder why I am not thinking about Alicia more frequently or feeling the intense pain of grief more often…And then I realize, I am.

First – adj. Preceding all others in time.

Final – adj. Coming at the end. Being the last in a series.

My mother has been gone from life for what seems like eternity, however, some days it seems like I saw her beautiful face, smelled her Vanilla perfume in her hug, and patted her long black hair just yesterday.

Another day, more tears. 

I am alone and missing you.

I miss your smile.

I miss the comfort of your arms.

I miss the sound of your voice.

I find myself talking to you while watching TV.

I miss your teasing.

I miss your gentleness.

When I go anywhere, I talk to you in the car.

I talk to you at the stores.

My mind says he's gone

My heart says no

Can't you feel his love?

Can't you feel his presence?

My mind says he's gone

My heart says no

Don't you remember the times you shared?

Don't you smile at the little things he did for you?

My mind says he's gone

My heart says no

You are strong because of his love he had for you

Do you remember when Julia Roberts, as the character Elizabeth Gilbert in the book/film “Eat, Pray, Love” said “I’m choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am.