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Loss is loss.  Loss leaves an agonizing lifetime sting along with a massive void in your heart.  Loss sucks.  

In the land of grief there are all different categories of loss.

Grief is a gray cloud that swirls around your ankles. Then it slips insidiously up past your knees to hover around your hips...then, before you know it, it's choking you. You try to breathe but the thickness of that cold gray cloud clogs up your nostrils, your lungs and finds its way down inside to your heart. There it just seems to solidify and take up residence. Damn it. 

I’m not sure where the memory crawled out from, where it’s been hiding all of this time or why it resurfaced at all.

Today, the five of us sat at the table, eating lunch and talking about death. Sometimes laughing and at other times in tenuous, heavy tones— we talked about what we’d want our funerals to look like and how we felt about the ones we’d been to. I’m not sure how the conversation led us to this place, but I’m also not sorry it did. At some point, in some way, death will touch us all.

My baby lives in heaven,

There are no shadows up in Heaven

We are just a few short days away from Father's Day.  My behavior is becoming stranger and stranger by the second.

We are born selfish. The only thing that matters to us in our earliest days is being fed, sleeping when we need it, and being comforted when we want it.

“Normal has disappeared. I don’t know what that is anymore,” Kathy said. 

Grief impacts our thoughts, emotions, physical health, and spiritual well-being. Simply put, it affects everything. Our normal is gone.

No wonder we feel crazy sometimes.