THE SHOCK OF LOSS - This Can't Be Happening!

“This isn’t happening! This can’t be real!” Carla said, as she sat in the family area outside the Emergency Room.

“One moment she’s here. The next, she’s gone. How can this be?” she asked frantically.

Carla blinked. Her eyes took on a glazed appearance. She looked past me, staring at the blank wall by the door.

Carla was in shock.

Carla’s daughter Carrie was six weeks old when she died. She had just started to coo. SIDS robbed Carla and her husband David of their precious little girl.

No wonder Carla was in shock. How could she not be?

An Emotional Taser

When loss hits the heart, we're stunned. Like an emotional taser, sudden shock waves immobilize us.

Shock can be a good thing. It acts to shield us from the full onslaught of reality. Otherwise the blow might kill us. 

When we first hear the news, time stops. It’s like someone pushed the pause button on the universe. Our hearts reel. Our minds spin.

No. This cannot be happening. This cannot be real. 

Shock is normal. The loss of a child is like being hit by an unexpected tsunami. It knocks us senseless. Shock can be momentary, or last for days or weeks.

Shock is not something we graduate from in grief. It is something that we move in and out of, numerous times, as needed. Our hearts need time to grasp the enormity of what’s happened. Even years later, we might have trouble coming to grips with it.

We don’t want this to be happening. We don’t want this to be real. We want our child back. Now.

“No wonder I’m in shock. How could I not be? I love you so much.”

Questions to consider:

When and how have you experienced shock in your grief process?

Do you still experience moments of shock from time to time? What are these times like for you?

From a fellow grieving parent:

“I still go in and out of shock. You will too. Our hearts can’t accept that they’re gone.”

Adapted from the newly released bestseller SHATTERED: Surviving the Loss of a Child. View the Shattered videos here: Gary, Michelle